Although I have still been going to my writers group I haven't posted since Doug died so I decided it was time to start posting again so here goes:

Writing Group

August 2015
Theme: Our Given Name

In The Middle

“Betty ALICE!” my ears perk up. She’s using the middle name so it must be serious! I drop what I’m doing and run for home. Except for the fact that the sound of my mother using my middle name brought fear to my stomach, I always liked my middle name better than my first. I didn’t know many other “Bettys” growing up but many of my friends’ mothers’ names were Betty. Because of this, I felt my name was outdated and old-fashioned (not to mention the obvious nicknames like Betsy Wetsy or Betty Boop.) My middle name, on the other hand, became my persona for my very own “Wonderland.” Later, when I was ready to change my name (you know when you start practicing a new married signature,) I wondered what to do with my middle name. Before me, my mother and at least one of my sisters I knew had dropped their last name and replaced it with their maiden name initial. I decided to do the same. I guess there were several things that influenced that but one of the main reasons was that artistically a big swirled “S” in the middle of my signature was more aesthetic than an “A.”

When my first daughter was born, I determined not to give her a middle name so she wouldn’t have to make that choice. My mother-in-law had done that with all her girls and I thought it was a good practice to carry on. As Jill grew older she felt cheated that she didn’t have a middle name. One night, in elementary, we went to a school function where each of the children was announced by name. When Jill’s turn came the teacher announced: “Jill ‘Angel’ Cottle.” That’s what Jill had told her was her middle name and she had no reason to doubt it. Suddenly I began to feel guilty for depriving my daughter of a middle name. When daughter number two, Alissa, was born I felt like I couldn’t give her a middle name when I hadn’t given one to Jill. Alissa eventually followed her sister and became “Alissa ‘Angel’ Cottle.”  Oh, no! I had failed them both! I really felt badly when I started calling Alissa – Alissa Lou, or Lissy Lou as a nickname. My grandmother and one sister shared the middle name of Louise. Alissa Louise would have been perfect!

When Jill had my first granddaughter it was payback time. She gave her not one, but two middle names!  Hanna March Jill Garrett.  Jill was not about to deprive HER daughter! Then when Alissa had her first daughter she named her “Emilie Alice.” I guess it was then that I realized how much my middle name had meant to me as I burst into tears at the news.

As each of my granddaughters have been given beautiful middle names I feel guilty for not giving them to my own girls. Although I later came up with the perfect middle name for Alissa, I never really did with Jill. Perhaps looking back now -  she should have been “Alice.”